I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize