I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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