we have officially lost it.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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