That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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