But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
