you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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