i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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