if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize