your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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