yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
