im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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