Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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