and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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