I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
