I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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