To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
