Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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