It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
