Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
