DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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