Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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