: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
