Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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