I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize