I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
