maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
