found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
