Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
