My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
