No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
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Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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