Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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