dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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