if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
