On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
