Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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