he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
