is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
