Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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