I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i now understand why vodka
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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