My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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