a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
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i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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