he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
