last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
