I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
