White coat. Heels.
She said her name was "party"
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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