"it" just moved
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
