he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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