I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
