Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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