those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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