I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
