I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
