I am puke
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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