The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
