somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
