i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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