the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
everyone is single if you try hard enough
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
