The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
