who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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