Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
