Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
