Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
