do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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