Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
