If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
