Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
