This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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