Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
