I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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