just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
