i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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