just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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