so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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